CtrlAltDel
by Extra0rdinary
Summary: When Ziva becomes emotionally disconnected, Tony struggles to repair their family. Unfortunately, in order to re-establish a connection, it's going to take more than a restart button. (Tiva baby)
1. Chapter 1

**Ctrl+Alt+Del (Control+Alternate+Delete)**

**Summary: **When Ziva becomes emotionally disconnected, Tony struggles to repair their family. Unfortunately, in order to re-establish a connection, it's going to take more than a restart button. (Tiva baby)

**Chapter 1**

Tony lay on the couch, snoring lightly with his arms wrapped securely to his chest. With all of the excitement from the first half, from good defense, fast breaks, and amazing dunks; he dozed off during the halftime show of the college basketball game.

First, there were a few whimpers and slight movements of his mouth.

Next, the whimpers increased and he began to squirm.

Then, the whimpers turned into full blown cries.

Tony was startled awake as he wrapped his arms a little tighter to his chest out of reflex. He looked down and was met with green eyes, the same as his own, but slightly watery.

"What's the matter buddy?" Tony asked his one month old son. He gently rubbed his back, but the crying continued. Tony glanced at the TV and saw that Ohio State University was losing to the University of Michigan by 12 points.

"Yeah, I would cry about that too." He looked down at his son again. Tears were rolling down his little cheeks. "What's wrong Kai?" He felt his diaper. "You're not wet." He lifted the baby up gently and smelled the diaper. "And you still smell good."

The agitation was evident on the infant's face.

"You must be hungry." He concluded. "Let's go get mommy."

Tony felt his mood damper a little bit. He felt apprehensive about bothering Ziva. Would it actually be considered as "bothering" if it was something that their son needed? She had been pretty erratic with her behavior lately. He knew that things took time and that this was a phase that she was going through. But, this "thing" whatever it was, was taking a toll on him also.

Holding Malachi to his chest, he walked from the living room, through the hallway, to their bedroom door. He didn't even try to turn the knob, because he knew it was locked. She had been doing that a lot lately too; running to their bedroom, locking the door, and staying in there for hours.

He knocked on the door and waited.

…

Inside the bedroom, Ziva sat on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest, her back against the bed. Her chest was heaving up and down, her head shaking from side to side, as tears rolled down her cheek and Hebrew prayers fell from her lips.

She had been at this for a few hours, cursing herself and then praying. Instead of reaching that divine effect of relief, it just made her feel wearier, if that was even possible.

Finally, her tear ducts were starting to dry up and her eyes were sore. She felt a tightness in her chest as her heart beat frantically. She almost began to panic until she realized that the heart that was beating so loudly in her ears was actually Tony knocking on the door.

"Come on Zi, open up please. He's hungry."

She could hear the anxiety in his voice and the anxiety in the baby's cries. She willed herself to get up off the floor and walk over to the door.

Tony could hear the door being unlocked and when it opened, he was met with a dull, emotionless stare. It was kind of like she was looking past him instead of looking at him, and that hurt. He noticed the dried tears and the red and swollen eyes, but he didn't say a word. Tony held the baby up, still trying to soothe him as he passed him to her. He didn't let go until he was sure that Ziva was holding him securely. She turned away to go back into the room.

"I can come in-" He was cut off by the door closing in his face. "if you want me to." He finished. Taking a deep breath and sighing, Tony leaned against the door frame and waited, just like he always did.

…

Ziva sat on the bed, with her back against the headboard. She prepped herself to breastfeed and then the crying finally ceased as Malachi began to drink the nourishment from his mother.

Ziva always dreaded the first few minutes of breastfeeding because Malachi always had trouble latching on. He would only latch on if he had eye contact from her. And she couldn't stand the staring contest between emerald green and almond brown irises. Whenever she looked into his beautiful green eyes, she got lost in the precious gift that was her baby. The precious gift that she felt she did not deserve.

So, whenever he latched on, her eyes would turn away and find something else to look at. Even now, she found the ceiling to be somewhat interesting; with the way it was flat and painted.

…

Tony was still leaning against the door frame. He had finally put his hands in his pockets to stop them from fidgeting. He doesn't know why he seemed nervous. His son's mother was feeding his son. That was nothing to be nervous about. It's natural actually.

What wasn't natural however, was the nervousness he felt when she close the door. Her behavior was strange but he didn't believe that Ziva would bring any harm to their son.

_Would she? No! Stop it! She wouldn't do that! She loves him! Does she?_

Tony shook his head and just chalked the nervousness up to being an over-protective dad. His hands started to fidget again in his pockets.

…

When Malachi finished, Ziva fixed herself and then held him to her.  
She reasoned to herself in her head that she was only holding him close so she could burp him. But the warmth of his little body to her felt like a hug.

After he burped, Ziva pulled him back to look at him. A tear escaped as she choked back a sob.

"Ani Mitzta'eret tateleh." (I'm sorry darling.)

Malachi just stared back at his mommy. He made gurgling noises and began sucking his fingers, completely oblivious to the sadness around him.

Ziva walked to the door and opened it. She handed Tony the baby without looking at him and retreated back to the room and locked the door.

Tony sighed again. He didn't like this non-communication with her. He looked at Malachi and then smiled.

"You ready to get back to the game, Kai?"

Malachi made a sound and Tony laughed and kissed his cheek as if he understood him.

"Our Buckeyes have to beat the Wolverines if we expect to keep our reputation and dignity."

He sat on the couch and turned the TV volume up. Ohio was only down by 2 points now.

"Good, we're catching up!"

Tony gently rubbed the baby's back. He wasn't sure if Ziva burped him or not.

"You know, back in the day when I was a Buckeye, we made it all the way to the Final Four..."

…

Ziva listened against the bedroom door. His voice was muffled a little through the door, but she could tell that he was entertaining and enjoying their son. Another tear slid down. She couldn't help but feel that Tony was more deserving of moments like that than she was.

**Extra0rdinary**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own NCIS.

**Author's Note:** Follow me on Twitter Extra0rdinaryFF for info on updates, sneak peeks, and other cool stuff!

**Chapter 2**

After watching Ohio lose against Michigan, Tony laid Malachi on the couch so he could change his diaper. Something relatively easy proved to be very complicated as Kai kicked his little legs wildly as Tony tried to get his diaper off.

"Ya know, for someone whose team just lost, you seem to be very happy." The diaper was finally off. "You better not be a Michigan fan."

Tony instantly regretted those words because as if on cue, Kai peed on him. Trying to stop the stream, Tony scrambled around for the clean diaper and quickly covered him up.

"I think you did that on purpose little DiNozzo." He squinted his face. Kai clapped his hands together.

"If you can say "da da" then I will forgive you." Tony told him as he applied the baby powder and fixed his diaper. He grabbed a baby wipe to clean his own face. "Come on, say da da."

Kai's response was spit bubbles. Tony dressed him in a onesie and picked him up. "It's okay; in a few months those bubbles might actually become words." He tickled his cheek and Kai flashed a toothless smile.

"Was that a smile?!" He asked excitedly. It was Kai's first smile. "Mommy would love to see that!" And then it felt like someone let the air out of his balloon. He had gotten ahead of himself again. He was finding himself becoming more and more unsure about Ziva's feelings and reactions. Any mother would be delighted to see their child's first smile. And Ziva would be too, if he could get her out of the room to spend time with them.

Kai squirmed in his arms and that brought him back to the present. He grabbed the TV remote and changed the channel to a baby show. The characters were singing about the alphabet. He deemed that suitable for Kai to watch so he placed him in his carrier. He put the carrier on the floor next to the couch so Kai would be safe and so that Tony could watch him while he went into the kitchen.

Returning from the kitchen, Tony carried two plates with sandwiches on them. He took one plate and went to their bedroom. He knocked on the door. After not hearing a sound, he spoke. "Ziva, I made you a sandwich."

Still no answer.

He assumed that she was asleep. Normally when he came to pester her about eating, she would respond by keeping the door closed and saying she wasn't hungry or she would eat a little just so he could back off. When he got no response, he knew she was asleep. It was okay because he was going to make her eat later.

On his way back to the living room, he heard the buzzer. He frowned because he really wasn't expecting any visitors and he knew Ziva couldn't handle it. He pressed the talk button.

"Who is it?"

"Tony, it's me!"

Without replying, he buzzed the person in. A few minutes later, someone excitedly knocked on the door and Tony smiled as he opened it.

"Hey Abby." He braced himself for the 'Abby hug'. And she hugged him with such force that she almost knocked him down.

"Hi, Tony! Oh I missed you so much at work! It's so boring and dull. And there's less head slaps than it should be! Sometimes I get McGee in trouble just so I can see Gibbs headslap him, but I always make it up to him. Oh and I miss Ziva too! Where is she? Is she with my handsome little guy?!" Abby was talking a mile a minute.

Tony grabbed her shoulders to calm her. "Breathe Abbs."

Abby took a few seconds to breathe. "Okay, now where is my cutie pie?"

"I'm right here." Tony gave a smug smile.

"Not you, I'm talking about Kai-Kai!"

Tony dramatically placed a hand over his heart. "I'm hurt. You've already dumped me for the kid." He frowned.

"You're still my favorite Tony." Abby told him.

Tony smiled. "Good. Now you shall see my offspring." He said in a British accent.

When they walked into the living room, Abby went completely into baby mode.

"Aww! Look at the cutesy wutsey baby waby!"

Tony tried not to laugh.

"He is so adorable! Yes he is!" Abby tickled his cheek and when he smiled, she just lost it. "Oh My Gosh! Look at his smile and his gums. Where is my camera?"

Tony held Malachi while Abby dug through her bag trying to find her camera. When she found it she made Tony make Kai smile again and she snapped away. She made him take pictures of her and the baby also. And that's when she noticed.

"Where's Ziva?"

"She's, uh, she's asleep."

"I got her a gift. How long until she wakes up?"

"She's not feeling well today so I'm not really sure. I'll make sure she gets it though." He said while rubbing the back of his neck. He hoped that she wouldn't ask any more questions.

"Okay." Abby handed Tony the gift. "It's a CD. I put a lot of classical music on there for the baby. A little bit of Bach, Beethoven, some Mozart, and some Android Lust."

Tony laughed. "Uhh Abbs, I'm pretty sure Android Lust is not a classical composer."

"Well I have to add some of my flavor. Kai needs to know what kind of music his cool Aunt Abby listens to. And that way whenever he comes to my lab, he won't be afraid of all the noise."

"You really put a lot of thought into this huh?" He laughed again and Abby grinned. "And you used a lot of wrapping paper." He looked at the little skull and bones that adorned the gift wrapping.

Abby pulled something else out of her bag. "I got another gift. It's for the both of you."

Tony rolled his eyes at the sight of more wrapping paper. But his expression quickly changed as he un-wrapped it. It was a beautiful picture frame with an even more beautiful picture inside. The picture was of Ziva, moments after she had given birth. Her hair was wild and curly after seven hours of labor and her brown eyes were tired but there was a spark in them as she smiled down at the bundle in her arms. Tony looked at himself sitting next to Ziva. One of his arms was around her waist and the other was hidden from the camera's view. He smirked because he strategically hid his arm because Ziva had sprained two of his fingers during one of her contractions. Just thinking about it made Tony flex and shake his fingers. Looking back at the picture, he could see that his smile matched Ziva's. It was the best day of their lives. They had finally become parents and they were so proud. Tony looked over at Malachi who was sleeping soundly in Abby's arms. He still felt that pride.

Breaking through his nostalgia, Abby told him to look carefully at the picture frame. He looked at the shiny silver and then he noticed it.

"Is that his handprints and footprints?" He asked as he traced it with his fingers.

Abby smiled. "Yep. I begged the doctor at the hospital to give me a copy and I laminated it in my lab and transferred it to the frame."

"Thanks Abby, you're the best." He kissed her cheek.

"Of course I am." Abby laid a sleeping Kai in his play pen and stayed and visited Tony for a few more hours. After Abby left, Tony cleaned the apartment as quietly as he could without waking Kai. When he was done, he looked through his movie collection and put on a James Bond film. He made popcorn and grabbed some soda. Halfway through the movie, he paused and took a bathroom break.

**...**

Ziva woke up just before Abby left. She didn't even know that she had fallen asleep, but she guessed that her body was tired from the stress she was putting it through. Anyways, she heard the over excitable Goth rambling on and on. Ziva couldn't really hear what Abby was talking about but she knew it was about Kai. Everyone was excited about him and Ziva couldn't help but feel detached.

So, she stayed in the bedroom. Her thoughts were full of self-loathing and depression. Even though she was in her own head space, she was still aware of everything going on. She heard Tony cleaning up and she heard the movie. She didn't hear Kai though.

After she heard the bathroom door close, she creeped out of the bedroom to check on Kai. He was sleeping peacefully in his play pen. She knew that wouldn't last long because he was due for another feeding. A thought popped into her head and Ziva went into the baby's nursery. She heard the water running in the bathroom so she quickly grabbed what she needed and headed back to the bedroom.

As Tony left the bathroom, he heard the bedroom door close.

"Ziva?" He called out to her.

She ignored him. He sighed and sat back on the couch. He instinctively glanced over at Kai. He squirmed a bit and Tony could tell he was about to wake up. He checked his watch and noticed that it was almost time for his next feeding. Speaking of feeding, he went into the kitchen and grabbed Ziva's sandwich from the refrigerator. She hadn't eaten all day and he was going to make her eat.

**...**

Ziva finished what she was doing when she heard a knock on the door. She rolled her eyes and ignored him.

"Ziva, open up. You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry." She told him through the door.

He knocked again. "You haven't eaten all day. You need to eat!" He demanded.

"Go away Tony!" She didn't like his tone of voice.

There was silence and she settled back into bed, until she heard him picking the lock.

"Okay!" She yelled as she opened the door. Tony stood there with the sandwich on a plate. She grabbed the plate and slammed the door in his face.

"Kai will be up in a few minutes." He informed her.

Ziva sat the plate on the night stand. She wasn't hungry.

**...**

Tony could smell Kai before he was fully awake. He pinched his nose.

"Wooooah Kai! I may need to get a HAZMAT suit for this one!" He walked over and picked him up. Kai was still trying to hang on to his sleep. Tony laid him on the couch and began to change his diaper. When the moist wipe touched his bottom, Kai woke from his sleep, crying.

"I know buddy, I'm almost done." Tony said as he cleaned him up. When he was finished, Tony held him up in the air. "DiNozzo men gotta stay fresh." After he discarded the dirty diaper, Tony and Kai were back at the bedroom door.

"Zi, it's time to feed Kai." He waited patiently until she opened the door.

Ziva cracked the door open just enough to hold out what she had in her hand.

"What is this?" He asked in disbelief.

Ziva tried closing the door but Tony stopped it with his foot.

"What is this for?"

"It is for Kai." Ziva said simply.

Tony opened the door all the way and shoved the bottle into Ziva's hand.

"No Ziva! It's way too early to put him on a bottle!" He was angry because he knew what she was doing. She was finding more ways to become distant. And he didn't like it, not one bit. He looked behind her and saw the breast pump. _That should still be in the box in the nursery. _He thought to himself.

"It is fine Tony. He will have to learn how to drink from the bottle anyway, why not start now?"

"When you feed Kai that is the only time you bond with him! And when you were pregnant, you said you wanted to breastfeed, remember? That was all before 'this' happened, whatever the hell it is!" He yelled. He didn't even know what was going on with her.

"This is **my** body Tony! **I** decide what to do with it!" She yelled.

"This is **our** baby, Ziva! **We** decide what to do!" He yelled back at her.

Kai's cries finally got louder than the yelling and they both looked at him. Tony was the first to soothe him. He rubbed little circles on his back.

"We're sorry Kai. Mommy and Daddy didn't mean to scare you."

Ziva looked on helplessly.

Tony walked into the bedroom. He took the bottle from Ziva and motioned for her to sit down. When she did, he placed Kai into her arms and turned his dark eyes toward her.

"Feed him." He growled.

Tony began to walk out of the room with the breast pump and the bottle. When he got to the doorway, he turned slightly. "And eat your sandwich." He left the room with the door wide open.

Ziva unbuttoned her shirt and began to feed Kai.

**Please Review. Next Chapter Coming Soon.**


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